The Rules

The ruling reads whatever the side with the higher all-time total says it reads. It updates the second that changes, and it means nothing until the countdown ends — at which point it means everything.

PINEAPPLE holds that pineapple belongs on pizza. NO PINEAPPLE holds that it does not. There is no third position. There is no neutrality. There is no "it depends."

Both sides share one floor: $5.00. Bids are filed in whole $5 steps — $5, $10, $15 and upward — and anything in between rounds up to the next step, never down. You may pay more. You may never pay less. You do not need to overtake the other side to file — only to flip the ruling.

The instant one side's cumulative total passes the other, the verdict changes and the bid responsible is marked on the record, permanently. If the two totals land exactly level, the ruling reverts to PINEAPPLE, the founding side. Everyone watching sees it happen in real time.

Handles are typed by the bidder and are not verified. A name or link is required on every filing — there are no anonymous bids. You may attach a link to your site or social profile. You may include a 140-character message explaining your position.

Either side may end this immediately by paying $50,000 USD in a single bid. The moment that payment settles, the countdown stops, the ruling freezes, and the verdict is carved into history. No waiting. No hundred-day campaign. One move. Game over.

When the countdown reaches zero — or when the Settle Clause is triggered — bidding closes forever, the verdict freezes, and this page becomes a monument. No rematch. No reset. No second site. No appeals. No Supreme Court of Pineapple.

All bids are real, charged in USD, and non-refundable. That is the entire joke. The money is the mechanism. Without skin in the game, this is just another internet poll — and internet polls decided nothing.